Flicker Shows I Watched Today

I should be writing this stuff down just in case a beautiful girl does research on me and wants to confirm that I am in fact obsessed with films and have no social life. This shall be my victory!

MYSTERY MEN: Lame super-heroes. in a hyper-real world. It ended up being a lot more fun than I remember from when I saw it in cinemas as a kid. The film pops with Gilliam like lunacy with its first steps - the old folks home introduction is brilliant. The contrast of regular joes to the crazed stylistic world is when the film works best, but it loses it's way completely in the last act as it drags on way too long and doesn't seem to know where to go. Two freaking hours!? It suffers from commercial director doing his first feature syndrome. None of the characters really get any kind of suprising climaxes and it all lands flat. The gory inside-out death of Captain Amazing is still INCREDIBLY disturbing (This is a PG-13 film!?) no matter how .

LONG KISS GOODNIGHT (Dir: Robert Altman): I dislike Robert Altman's usual style, but Elliot Gould (as Philip Marlowe) slouching through a vague mystery makes this thing work. It's not pressing, nor is it really exciting, but it makes for one hell of a cool ride. Hey! There's a shirtless Arnold Schtznagger as a goon! The ending of this is a a nice surprise that you'd never really expect.

THE PRESIDENT'S ANALYST: I thought this was going to be talkie one room drama, but color me surprised when I get the usual bad-ass James Coburn as a neebish analyst that gets caught in a kooky dose of 60's espionage intrigue.

Between Lost Friends

After four month of silence, our hero traps an unresponsive friend in FACEBOOK chat and begins a conversation filled with uncontrollable emotion.

Justin
Non message un-replier!

Jessica
John Denver coin enthusiast!

Justin
Pffft. At least mine is rooted in REALITY!

HURTFUL REALITY!

Jessica
:(:( Would it have been better had I referenced Tom Jones?

Justin
The non contact still cuts deep

Jessica
If I were to offer you conciliatory Tom Jones paraphernalia would that make up for it?

Justin

...

...

..

Jessica
Common' the man insured his chest hair

Justin
Nope

Jessica
pshhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Jessica
your mean

Justin
I'M MEAN!?

Jessica
See! what did I just comment upon. You even admit it yourself

Justin
"Dear Jessica: Wholeheartedhonestemailtogetincontact"

Justin
Jessica's Reply: ...

NOTHING!

ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!

Jessica
:(:(

Justin
Justin stared at his e-mail box, clicking feverishly as the salty tears dribbled down his eyes and the saliva left his mouth in one swoop.

Jessica
Are all these facial fluids landing upon his keyboard?

Justin
Well, it's in the past

Since then I've become a granite boy of stone

Emotiosn have fled because all they ever did was hurt

Jessica
Ohhhh it's not like I beat you with a hard rolled newspaper... I just got distracted by H1N1 and failed to answer your message

Justin
Right

Suuuuure

Jessica
Are you sure Tom Jones can't make anything better?

Justin
No

Jessica
:(:( but he's all I have to bargain with

Justin
Well, all I wanted was "I'm sorry"

BUT IT'S TOOOOO LATE!

Jessica
le sigh

Justin
I thought we...(sob)...were...were...friend.(wimper)

Jessica
Well in that case if it's toooooo late. Not even Tom Jones can help.

How about if I apologized now?

would that be akin to flogging a dead horse? Would that even be sanitary?

Justin
Pft. It's old news now.

I just wanted to yell at someone to make me feel more like a man.

Now, I'm off to go and cry into my pillow and wallow in my depressive loneliness

"What's the point in waking up in the morning...No one...No one cares."

Jessica
You should have raised your hand palm facing in.

I hear it makes people feel manly. Okay I care. How are you My Dear Neglected Friend?

Justin
I actually need to be off. I wasn't joking about that one.

And I'm not joing about being lonely and depressed either

le sigh

Cheerios

Well, someones said it.

While sitting in a candlelit hipster cafe, the subject of my intricate humor stylings became the center of attention:.

"We told him he wasn't funny and nearly burst into tears." my 'good' friend said. Bastard.

I stared at the ground and held back the waterworks

"It hurt my feelings"

"It's the truth!"

My friend's significant other jumped in to throw me a pity life preserver.

"You see, Justin is...funny...well..he's...um..."

I smiled encouragingly. Yes?

"...He's funny in print...Yes that's it...Hilarious even!" a smile spread on her face as the answer was finally coming to her. "In real time, not so much."

Her boyfriend snorted.

"You'll only laugh if you write down what he says and read it two weeks down the line." he said.

I'll take that. I held back the tears.