Between Lost Friends

After four month of silence, our hero traps an unresponsive friend in FACEBOOK chat and begins a conversation filled with uncontrollable emotion.

Justin
Non message un-replier!

Jessica
John Denver coin enthusiast!

Justin
Pffft. At least mine is rooted in REALITY!

HURTFUL REALITY!

Jessica
:(:( Would it have been better had I referenced Tom Jones?

Justin
The non contact still cuts deep

Jessica
If I were to offer you conciliatory Tom Jones paraphernalia would that make up for it?

Justin

...

...

..

Jessica
Common' the man insured his chest hair

Justin
Nope

Jessica
pshhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Jessica
your mean

Justin
I'M MEAN!?

Jessica
See! what did I just comment upon. You even admit it yourself

Justin
"Dear Jessica: Wholeheartedhonestemailtogetincontact"

Justin
Jessica's Reply: ...

NOTHING!

ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!

Jessica
:(:(

Justin
Justin stared at his e-mail box, clicking feverishly as the salty tears dribbled down his eyes and the saliva left his mouth in one swoop.

Jessica
Are all these facial fluids landing upon his keyboard?

Justin
Well, it's in the past

Since then I've become a granite boy of stone

Emotiosn have fled because all they ever did was hurt

Jessica
Ohhhh it's not like I beat you with a hard rolled newspaper... I just got distracted by H1N1 and failed to answer your message

Justin
Right

Suuuuure

Jessica
Are you sure Tom Jones can't make anything better?

Justin
No

Jessica
:(:( but he's all I have to bargain with

Justin
Well, all I wanted was "I'm sorry"

BUT IT'S TOOOOO LATE!

Jessica
le sigh

Justin
I thought we...(sob)...were...were...friend.(wimper)

Jessica
Well in that case if it's toooooo late. Not even Tom Jones can help.

How about if I apologized now?

would that be akin to flogging a dead horse? Would that even be sanitary?

Justin
Pft. It's old news now.

I just wanted to yell at someone to make me feel more like a man.

Now, I'm off to go and cry into my pillow and wallow in my depressive loneliness

"What's the point in waking up in the morning...No one...No one cares."

Jessica
You should have raised your hand palm facing in.

I hear it makes people feel manly. Okay I care. How are you My Dear Neglected Friend?

Justin
I actually need to be off. I wasn't joking about that one.

And I'm not joing about being lonely and depressed either

le sigh

Cheerios